Ask yourself “What if….”

My experience tells me that, when you embark on a journey of personal change there are 4 conditions that need to be met in order for successful outcomes to be facilitated, they are:

1. You need to be REALLY fed up with the problems you currently face.

2. You need to be able to observe your predicament from new points of view.

3. Realise that you have been trained to live with fear, therefore you can be untrained too.

4. You must develop new ways of thinking, feeling and behaving.

Essentially you need more choices in the way you see the world, more choices in the way you talk to yourself (and others) and far more emotional and behavioural flexibility.

An exercise to start the self-awareness journey

If you are serious about change (See condition 1 above) then, take some time to answer the following questions, perhaps even write the answers down as you take time to mull these concepts around in your mind. What you are looking for are thoughts and concepts that are appealing and desirable, thoughts and feelings that make you say “I’d like some of that”. At this stage don’t worry about what is possible or what you currently feel you can or can’t do (these are just self-beliefs) and they are a primary barrier to moving forward.

When you see these negative self-beliefs put up, write them down – they normally have a format such as:

“I could never do that…”

“I’m too busy to make time for that…”

“That would take too much money…”

“Well, it’s alright for him to say that, he’s not having to out up with….”

These type of restrictive comments are what I would like you to observe and hold judgement on for a while, just write them down as you go through the exercise. Imagine you could step outside of yourself for a while as you answer the questions and consider what positive outcomes you’d experience if you could do these things?

Ask yourself the following questions:

Use the question format - “What good things would happen…..?”

• If I could stop my mind from racing, for it to be more silent?

• If I could manage my emotions and choose any emotion at any time?

• If I could love myself and accept myself unconditionally?

• If I could love my body?

• If I didn’t care what others thought of me?

• If I didn’t have to control everything?

• If my job was doing exactly what I wanted to be doing?

• If I knew what job I’d love to be doing?

• If I had no anxiety?

• If I always slept deeply and soundly?

• If I could make time to relax and read?

• If I stopped judging myself (and others)?

• If I put myself first?

• If I could accept others without the need to change them?

• If I could stop sabotaging myself? (diet, drinking, exercise, relationships)

• If I didn’t take peoples comments personally?

• If I could say NO without any guilt?

• If I could say YES without any guilt?

• If I could not get pulled into other people emotions and needs?

• If I was less needy?

• If I smiled at others before they smiled at me?

• If I could let go of being right or wrong?

• If I could be in the right relationship?

• If I could easily forgive people?

• If I wasn’t so easily hooked by advertising & marketing?

• If I had loads more energy?

You should now have a list of excuses that (in your mind) are stopping you from doing the things on the list. These excuses are your starting point for personal change and personal growth – these are what I can help you to overcome on your way to living a new life with more calmness, happiness and emotional choice.

Call me for a chat – 01280 823059

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