Maria slimming and design a new future blog

My name is Maria and I am ready to change my life. I am going to use this blog as a way of recording my progress as I change my life. I am going to face up to the things I know I need to do and log my thoughts and feelings as I do so.

I know that unless I become bone crushingly honest with myself and uncover the unconscious strategies that keep sabotaging my weight loss my days are numbered, this scares me as there is so much I want to do with and for my family.

What I want to change about myself is…

I am currently 58 years old and I am morbidly overweight, weighing in at 27 Stoneand 2lbs, I have diabetes and feel huge levels of anxiety when I leave the safety of my home. I can’t carry on like this anymore.

The outcome I am looking for is…

I am planning to retire around July 2011 and at this time I would like my weight to be 15 stone or under.  I also would like to do something very special for my 60th Birthday, like a hot air balloon ride over an African game reserve or a cruise around New Zealand, so for this to happen I will need to loose enough weight to be more mobile within the next 11 months.

My initial goals are…

To lose 1 stone by September 28th: I am traveling to Turkey for a family holiday and when I travel I feel that the  flight seats are small, I need a seat belt extention and the tray does not come down.  I can not walk far before getting out of breath.  I feel  people are watching me and saying what a fat lump, I hope I am not sitting next to them.

To join my friend at a hobby class within 2 weeks: This will get me used to being in social environments again and (although emotionally painful) it will make me realise how overweight I am and stop me from burying my head in the ground any longer.

To begin to go shopping again starting this week: Currently my husband does the shopping, this needs to stop because he buys too many nice treats and I am going to start going because I can control what food comes into the house and I can plan ahead.  It will also get me use to being out of the house and with crowds again.

To enroll in a language class that starts in September: Because I want to learn the language to help me trace my ancestors.  But it will also get me out of the house and integrating with people who will be judging me for my size.

So, here goes…

Day 1 Wednesday August 25th

Weight 27stone 2lbs Weight loss so far 0

Food diary

Breakfast 25gm Oats & 75gms Semi-Skimmed milk, 1 apple, 1 cup of black coffee.

Mid Morning 1 mug of black coffee

Lunch 2pm   130 gm chicken 175 gm green beans, 1 apple,1mug of black coffee.

Afternoon 1 mug of Earl Grey tea

Supper 7.30pm   2 Salmon fish cakes and a green salad,  1 banana, 1 mug of black coffee

Only managed 1.5 litres of water today.

Day 2 Thursday August 26th

Weight 27stone 1.2lbs Weight loss so far 0.8lbs

Food Diary

Breakfast  8.15 25gm Porridge, 75 gm Semi Skimmed Milk, 1 apple, 1 mug of black coffee.

Lunch 1:30   140gm cod, tomatoe and sweetcorn.  1 apple.  1 mug black coffee.

Supper 7:30pm   130 gm sea bass with 130 gm green beans & cabbage.  1 mug of black coffee.

Day 3 Friday August 27th

Weight 26stone 12.6lbs Weight loss so far 3.4lbs

Today I have been shopping to Sainsburys all by my self.  I feel good at having done it even though it was not very comfortable.  Also I did not buy any naughty bits even though I was tempted.   Felt low after hearing that there was going to be about 15 hours a day building works right next to our hotel in Turkey.  We now have to decide whether we want to change hotels.  I would rather not go, but that would mean that Tony, Alison & Ian would not go and then they would miss out on a holiday.  I am fed up of being the grown up.  My husband has just offered me some chocolate.  No will power.  Day continues, frantic phone calls about the holiday.  We have to go and get brochures.  By the time we are on our way home it is nearly 8.00pm.  I am fed up, tired and hungry.  So fish & chips are bought.

Food Diary

Breakfast 9:15am   25gm Porridge, 75 gm Semi Skimmed Milk, 1 peach, 1 mug of black coffee.

Lunch  2.00pm  130 gms sea bass & 175gms carrots & green beans.  1 peach.  1 mug of black coffee.

Mid Afternoon  2 small squares of chocolate.

 Supper  8.00pm   Fish and chips from the chip shop. 1 mug of black coffee

Day 4 Saturday August 28th

Weight 26stone 11lbs Weight loss so far 5lbs

Today has been hectic.  We had people around from about 8:20am for breakfast.  The hairdresser came this morning at 10:45am.  The breakfast people and hairdresser left by 1:30pm.  Quick tidy up before the next lot of people arrived to discuss the holiday.  I hate having to make quick decisions. I really would rather not go on this holiday.  My daughter feels the same.  Actually quite quickly a new hotel is agreed on and the travel agent told.  Then the wait to see if there is availability.  The wine has been opened by this time but I am good and say no.  While we are waiting I prepare luch for seven.  I make up a large ceasar salad and roast some new potatoes in the oven .  Then I griddle lamb steaks.  Followed by fresh fruit salad and ice cream.  By the time everyone goes I am drained and exhausted.  

Food Diary

Breakfast 9:30am  2 eggs scrambled on toast, 0.5 sausage,  mixed fresh fruit, 2 mugs of black coffee

Lunch  4:00pm   Griddled Lamb steak, Ceasar salad, 5 new potatotes.  Fresh fruit salad with two spoons of ice cream. 1 mug of black coffee.

Supper   8:30pm Croissant with 2 small sausages.  2 slices of grannary bread with smoked mackerel.

Day 5 Sunday August 29th

Weight 26stone 9.4lbs Weight loss so far 6.6lbs

 I have been clothes shopping with my daughter this morning.  We mangaged about an 1.5 hours at the shops.  It did not have too many panics but I was glad to get home.  The rest of the day has been helping my husband with his work.  Hopefully this will mean we can have some quality time together tomorrow.

Food Diary

Breakfast 10:00am 2 scrambled eggs on toast, some strawberries and melon. i mug of black coffee.

Lunch 4.00pm 3 slices of grannary bread with smoked mackerel and salad.  1 apple.

Supper 8:00pm  Fish, cabbage and green beans. 

Day 6 Monday August 30th

Weight 26stone 10lbs Weight loss so far 6.0lbs

Today has been a hard day.  My husband and I went to help a friend pick plums off her tree.  When we got there my husband assumed I would not help but stay in doors. I was so taken aback that that was what I did.  Unfortunately I could here all that was being said by my husband and friend outside.  A one point they were discussing me.  I felt bad and quite a burden on my husband.  When they came in I told them I had heard their conversation.

Food Diary

Breakfast 10:00am  2 boiled eggs 2 slices of toast.  1 apple and 1 mug black coffee.

Meal  5:00pm  Fish, Green beans, courgettes and boiled potatoes.  2 satsumas.  1 mug of black coffee.

I had 2 mugs of black tea during the day but not enough water.

Day 6 Tuesday August 31st

Weight 26stone 11.6lbs Weight loss so far 4.4lbs

Had a busy day flat out wth work today.  Trying not to get frustrated with a customer who is being stupid and thick.

Food Diary

Breakfast 8:00am  4 slices of toast, 1 apple 1 mug of black coffee.

Lunch   1.00pm  4 slices of bread with smoked mackerel and a tomatoe.  2 satsumas.  1 mug of black coffee

Dinner  7:15pm  Roast chicken, cabbage, green beans and roast potatoes.  2 satsumas.

Not enough water drunk today.

Day 7 Wednesday September 1st

Weight 26stone 10.8lbs Weight loss so far 5.2lbs

Breakfast  8:00am  25 gm oatibix, semi skimmed milk.  1 apple.  1 mug of black coffee.

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