Ray’s stop drinking for a year blog

My name is Ray and I am ready to change my life. I am going to use this blog as a way of recording my progress as I change my life. I am going to face up to the things I know I need to do and log my thoughts and feelings as I do so.

What I want to change about myself is…

• My alcohol drinking habits.

What I want to examine is…

• How I live my life without alcohol for one year

The long term outcome I am looking for is….

• To become a moderate social drinker after one year.  If this goal cannot be met then to give up drinking forever.

My initial goals are…

• to enjoy the process of change

• to be creative in managing social situations where I used to drink alcohol

• learn from my experiences and always try to improve for the next time

So, here goes…

Day 1 Wednesday July 6th 2011 - here we go………….well I actually started my quest of 1 year without alcohol on June 7th.  The reason I started this quest is because for the last year I have been making changes in my life, as the blog continues I will examine some of those.  I have much to discuss but for now (it’s 12:00am in Toronto have to crash soon) I would like to thank John for his invite to add my blog to his website.  I know sharing this experience with others will strengthen my desire to continue.  Bye for now.

Day 33 Saturday July 9th 2011 – It’s not a typo….this is my 2nd blog entry and actually my 33rd day of not drinking another 300 and something still to go…..I have some catching up to do so I will try to fill in the gap….I am sure over the years my body has built up a tolerance and a dependency to alcohol….It didn’t happen suddenly in fact very slowly all the while flying under the radar of beer commercials, alcohol sponsored sports events, dinner parties, bars, restaurants etc…..society encouraged me to drink and i did……I can remember recently the last 3 times I drank too much……this does not include the days spliced in between where I would have drank two or three after playing tennis or something…..the first episode was meeting up with a friend for some supper and drinks @ a restaurant….I probably drank about 7 glasses of red wine, had a great time and successfully drove my bicycle 2 miles home (risky?…lucky?)…..drank the similar amount @ a wonderful dinner party, wife drove……found myself drinking bourbon on a hot summer afternoon after tennis in a friend’s backyard (had a great time…total drug abuse mind you….the bike actually walked me home, without it I would have fell over)…..then June 6th after tennis having some food and 2 big draft beers….mmm…found myself asking my friend if we should get another….he said not for him….my dark side was trying to take over and track down the waiter but he could not be found….the urge passed…..check please….wow this is a monday lol…..I drank on the weekend!….@ that moment I knew I had to step off.

I think in the last 30 years or so the only time I have not drank alcohol for a week was when I was on some medication or something like that…..barring that after maybe 3 days without drinking somehow I would find my way to a drink even if that meant having a couple glasses of wine by myself while watching a movie or something, so I knew that for me, the first week without drinking could be a long one.  I was right about that but not for the reasons I expected…..for me not drinking slows down time a little (when you drink alcohol the time slips by faster and more sleep is required for hangovers)…..I had no choice but to savour every hour of each day….I think in the past if I would have tried this, it would have been a difficult challenge for me, but for me this is an opportunity……..

Day 34 Sunday July 10th 2011
- I am comfortable with people drinking whatever they like around me……It’s up to me to adjust to the situation…..I have been searching through different grocery stores looking for non-alcoholic beverages.  One rule I have is to only drink 0% alcohol beverages……I found Becks to be great….They have a 0% alcohol beer which is brewed without yeast so there is no fermentation….I find it tastes great…..”Taste” is all there is no beer buzz…..I brought 3 to a Canada day party…..they worked great for me…I will only drink them in social situations….(that way I can look forward to them)  Also I found a great green grape carbonated drink that looks like white wine in your glass….there are other interesting drinks out there for sure and I will find a few more.  About one week into it I had
dinner in a restaurant with my wife….she drank red wine I had an espresso and 2
cappuccinos….the caffeine rush got me through the evening.  I have always drunk coffee and still enjoy it.

I watched the movie “Source code” recently….if you like science fiction it is a must see….anyway long story short the star has 8 minutes to identify the terrorist bomber on a train, to do this he must find the bomb first and by putting together all the clues he can figure out the bombers name and stop him from bombing something else (time travelling sort of)…..but anyway the first time he tries he fails; BOOM train blows up…..they send him back again for 8 minutes to try again this time he uses clues from the last 8 minutes and this time finds the bomb; BOOM train blows up again anyway…..he goes back 5 times or so and each time gathers more clues and eventually completes the mission…..that is the strategy I use in social situations….I do not expect to change so drastically over night and not remember what I used to drink @ parties…..but I do the best I can and make mental notes on how to improve  in similar situations moving forward….I will become stronger every day by slowly cobbling together more information about myself and my environment…..

Day 37 Wednesday  July 13th 2011 –  It has been a non-eventful few days…..one day slides into the next…I find myself being more aware of my surroundings, more patient with other people for the most part….I find myself less pumped up about
my alcohol free year, I think my body and mind have adjusted quite well to this, I think my body is responding well to not being poisoned occasionally lol……when I think of the last time I saw people getting drunk…..mmmm…..seemed like a self-medicating process for them…..don’t drink too much or you will poison yourself….ouch….that used to be me.

They say gambling in lotteries and casinos is a tax on the stupid….getting drunk in a bar is not far behind in my opinion….I have no addictions right now…not even a small one here or there….in the past I would have been board by this but that is not the case anymore…..this might sound silly but I am getting addicted to having no addictions…..I always had a weakness for some ice cream…I limit myself to every other day to have some….my father became a diabetic around my age so I have skins in this game also….My wife and I are going to a show tomorrow with another couple….drinks
are a given afterward but not for me…..

Day 40 Sunday  July 17th 2011 – one interesting discovery for me is that the ups and downs of life are handled by me with more of an even keel…..I have no choice, there is no glass of wine or two for me after a stressful day of work….I have got used to this change.  I will admit that alcohol gave me a rush…..that is what recreational drugs are supposed to do….one problem I had was I was drinking by myself sometimes….for me this habit, like for many would only get worse before it gets better….it’s kind of a one way street….. you don’t hear about people from the beginning who drink by themselves a lot and then gradually do it less and then not at all…..it is
always the opposite…..I would say time and opportunity let the habit of drinking alone slowly become an acceptable habit because the brain gets tricked into crossing that line enough times that the line gets moved…..I actually said to a close friend a few months ago  that having one drink in a day did not count as drinking that day……using that logic if you could have a four day stretch of having one drink alone a day you can fool yourself into thinking you have not drank for 4 days…..from there the line always
moves….usually one way a lot more often…..I also know discussing this with a friend is also a sign…lol….

Right now ice cream is tasting so good…..my addictive brain is trying to find a new friend…..maybe I should make a new rule for myself not to ice cream alone…..it’s never easy I guess………

Day 53 Friday July 29th 2011 -  not drinking has become as much of a habit as drinking was…..@ this point I can see a danger that I may not want to drink after 1 year…..what if this is my best year ever?……it is going in that direction…..I am deep into uncharted territory (53 daze without drinking)  I have learned that alcohol for me has been very easy to avoid (so far…lol)…..we make mental and physical adjustments to whatever cards we get dealt in life……it is a very cool game when we are the dealer and the player…..I choose not to drink alcohol, thats the card I deal myself……mmmm…..I still get dealt cards, just not that card……I love change very much….now I look @ coffee shops as I drive…..I noticed when I go to bars with friends, they drink alcohol and I order coffee (they always make me a fresh pot)…..after a while now nobody notices that I don’t drink…..@ first it was noticed now it is not which is great……sometimes I don’t even notice that I am not drinking alcohol….it is actually very very cool………..

This might be my last post…….it has been 67 days without drinking…..what I have discovered is that stopping drinking has been a gateway for other more positive things to happen……one can continue to count the days or one can move forward and live…..by staying busy and getting ahead I have realized that alcohol for me slowed down or stopped my progress…..sitting around and drinking with friends is fun but it translates to wheel spinning for me now……I will keep my promise to myself and not drink until the year is up after that I will never drink more than 2 drinks in one day and never more than 6 in a week (the only exception I will make is big parties like new years a couple more drinks)……The week of June 8th 2012 will be one year…….after that I have a green light to drink (the conditions above)……2 weeks after new years 2012 I will stop again for 3 months and start again in the spring…..and do that every year afterward……I think for me this can work because my body like the break from alcohol…….

Any way thank you John for letting me vent my thoughts and for the opportunity to read your inspirational 6 month no drinking  alcohol adventure

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